Not many posts....I know, I know. I blog in spurts. Then something happens that is really worthy of a blog post. Such a thing has occurred.
So many of you know that I have been making some pretty drastic changes as of late. Let me tell you the story.
So about 3 or 4 months ago my mother, who is also a nurse practitioner, said something that made a big impression on me. We had talked about my infertility so so many times. This conversation was not much different. She said, "maybe your blood sugar is causing the problem." really that was it. Just that one sentence. For days I replayed that sentence in my head. A few days later a dietician posted an article about pcos on a support group I am in charge of.
The metabolism miracle
It seemed to be right in line with what was already on my mind. Blood sugar. I committed. Surely it couldn't hurt to try.
I have lost 20 pounds in 3 months. That was a nice benefit but not the point. Blood sugar remember. So I went to the doctor recently. Blood drawn, same fertility tests done.
Results were fantastic. No meds. Normal blood sugar levels. Normal hormone levels. And amazingly, ovulation on my own for the first time in at least 8 years! You know how good of news this is!? It means that with more hard work I might be able to get rid of infertility! Like be normal! Weird!!
2 things I want to drive home to any of you working on this too. (1) when a thought nags, listen!! (2) commit, it may change everything.
It is changing everything for me. Getting pregnant with no meds is a miracle!! I hope it works!! Say a little prayer for me :0)
Jan 17, 2012
Dec 22, 2011
I admit it!
I am freaking out a bit. Maybe I need some infertility friends words of encouragement and most of you read my blog. Any kind words are very encouraged. :0)
January 2012.....
Been waiting for it to come. Insurance begins. Trying for baby #3. I am freakin out.
I have a confession. It's intense. I am a infertility wuss. I have been married for almost 8 years. 6 to 7 of those years have been "my infertility years" in reality I get pregnant really easy. I mean, I get on clomid, I am pregnant. This has happened twice. The issue is staying pregnant. After I miscarry, I take a infertility wussy break for ummmm 2 or 3 years. 7 years infertility. 5 months
on clomid. 4 months being pregnant. The rest of the time = wussy break.
I am not as awesome as the rest of you infertile people, like my sister. Within a 2 or 3 year period my sister had 4 miscarriages, a few IUIs, and IVF , preeclampsia, csection at 30 weeks, and a 2 month NICU stay resulting in my adorable chubby cheeked niece. She is a fighter, I am a wuss. I curl up in a ball in the corner.
The time has come. Time for me to fight as hard as I can and not stop. It is scary. Loss is scary. That is all I have ever known. It feels like I keep touching the hot stove over and over even though I know it burns. Please pray for me, I need strength and have to find endurance like I never have before.
January 2012.....the time has come.
January 2012.....
Been waiting for it to come. Insurance begins. Trying for baby #3. I am freakin out.
I have a confession. It's intense. I am a infertility wuss. I have been married for almost 8 years. 6 to 7 of those years have been "my infertility years" in reality I get pregnant really easy. I mean, I get on clomid, I am pregnant. This has happened twice. The issue is staying pregnant. After I miscarry, I take a infertility wussy break for ummmm 2 or 3 years. 7 years infertility. 5 months
on clomid. 4 months being pregnant. The rest of the time = wussy break.
I am not as awesome as the rest of you infertile people, like my sister. Within a 2 or 3 year period my sister had 4 miscarriages, a few IUIs, and IVF , preeclampsia, csection at 30 weeks, and a 2 month NICU stay resulting in my adorable chubby cheeked niece. She is a fighter, I am a wuss. I curl up in a ball in the corner.
The time has come. Time for me to fight as hard as I can and not stop. It is scary. Loss is scary. That is all I have ever known. It feels like I keep touching the hot stove over and over even though I know it burns. Please pray for me, I need strength and have to find endurance like I never have before.
January 2012.....the time has come.
Dec 2, 2011
Print Away!
Three for the price of one.Enjoy these awesome 8x10 FREE Christmas printables! Remember they are for personal use only please! and thank you!
Merry Christmasing :o)
Nov 28, 2011
plan it! It's easier!
Here we are back to normalish. Is it really ever normal on my blog? Not really. but here is a great attempt.
Metabolism Miracle Meal Plan:
Monday :ASIAN PORK (found here)
Tuesday: DOTTIE'S SAUSAGE, MUSHROOM AND CREAM CHEESE CHICKEN CASSEROLE (found here)
Wednesday: BAKED SALMON (found here)
Thursday: GEORGE STELLA'S EASY CHEESY CHILI CHICKEN (found here)
Friday: BACON CHEESEBURGER SKILLET (found here)
Saturday: TACO SKILLET (found here)Sunday: GRILLED "SMOTHERED" CHICKEN (found here)
Normal people meal plan:
IT'S CROCK POT WEEK! Get those trusty crock pots out and let's make this easy!
Monday: Easy Crock pot Lasagna (found here)
Tuesday: Broccoli beef (found here)
Wednesday: Turkey cutlets in Mango Salsa (found here)
Thursday: Indian Chicken (found here)
Friday: cowboy stew (found here)
Saturday: Cajun Turkey roast (found here)
Sunday: Cranberry Pork Tenderloin (found here)
There you go! Making december easier for you :o)
Nov 25, 2011
A personal thanksgiving
I have chosen to take much of my personal opinion and thoughts out of this blog. I hope that today you will understand if I take a few moments to work out my feelings in writing, in writing to you. Sometimes it really is the best medicine.
Thanksgiving. What does it really mean to me? This holiday has been a hard one for me.
I find myself feeling like I used to, reacting like I used to, and the pride seeps back in. Can I just say I hate that version of myself. But my heart aches. Not an excuse, just truth. My heart aches for me and my pain. Extremely selfish I am aware. The selfishness I hate in myself. I still mourn for the loss in me.
After the initial sadness, I turn into The Prodical Son's older brother. Angry and jealous of the embrace My Father has with my brother. "I have done all the work! Where is my party!" It is in this stage where I forget my blessings. I get hung up here, full of anger and resentment.
There is some lesson to learn right? Where is it? What am I missing? I really thought I moved on, lesson learned and all. But there is more! Really! It is infuriating to feel like the pain and trials never have an end.
Then sometimes I am lucky to have someone or something get through that hard shell of emotion.
This thanksgiving it was my husband, my beautiful, loving, honest, unwavering husband. He boldly,through my tears, reminded me that I have much to be thankful for. He told me that him and I were enough. No additions necessary. I was enough for him to feel blessed. Our love and our covenant to love for eternity is enough for him. Enough for him to let go of his pride and his losses to focus on us. It really was an extraordinarily honest and beautiful conversation.
I finally see how lucky I am. Lucky to be married to the best of men. One who lets me be absurd and listens while I rant, then comes to me with love and honesty and heals a little piece of the sadness and inadequacy. I am fortunate to be bound to him by covenant throughout eternity. To know that I will live with him forever, even beyond death. That children or not I am enough for him. That kind of love never dies.
This reminded me of the love my Heavely Father has for me, unwavering like my husbands. All encompassing. He even loves me when I blame him for being barren. He comes to me in these moments. He reminds me of his all encompassing love and tells me to wait just a little longer. He has so much in store for me. I am not ready yet. I know it and He knows it.
My personal relationship with Him is untied to any other. My faith in him is not contingent on my blessings. It doesn't work that way. Faith and then blessings. He is teaching me this now. That to truly be close to Him as my father I have to let go and trust. I am just so scared in the end I will have let go of control and no blessings will follow. I will be left with nothing. Empty hands and a broken heart. But just as our marriage is enough for my husband, my obedience and faith is enough for God. I have to let it be enough for me too.
Thank you for letting me share. For letting me share a piece of myself without judgement.
I really am thankful.
Thanksgiving. What does it really mean to me? This holiday has been a hard one for me.
I find myself feeling like I used to, reacting like I used to, and the pride seeps back in. Can I just say I hate that version of myself. But my heart aches. Not an excuse, just truth. My heart aches for me and my pain. Extremely selfish I am aware. The selfishness I hate in myself. I still mourn for the loss in me.
After the initial sadness, I turn into The Prodical Son's older brother. Angry and jealous of the embrace My Father has with my brother. "I have done all the work! Where is my party!" It is in this stage where I forget my blessings. I get hung up here, full of anger and resentment.
There is some lesson to learn right? Where is it? What am I missing? I really thought I moved on, lesson learned and all. But there is more! Really! It is infuriating to feel like the pain and trials never have an end.
Then sometimes I am lucky to have someone or something get through that hard shell of emotion.
This thanksgiving it was my husband, my beautiful, loving, honest, unwavering husband. He boldly,through my tears, reminded me that I have much to be thankful for. He told me that him and I were enough. No additions necessary. I was enough for him to feel blessed. Our love and our covenant to love for eternity is enough for him. Enough for him to let go of his pride and his losses to focus on us. It really was an extraordinarily honest and beautiful conversation.
I finally see how lucky I am. Lucky to be married to the best of men. One who lets me be absurd and listens while I rant, then comes to me with love and honesty and heals a little piece of the sadness and inadequacy. I am fortunate to be bound to him by covenant throughout eternity. To know that I will live with him forever, even beyond death. That children or not I am enough for him. That kind of love never dies.
This reminded me of the love my Heavely Father has for me, unwavering like my husbands. All encompassing. He even loves me when I blame him for being barren. He comes to me in these moments. He reminds me of his all encompassing love and tells me to wait just a little longer. He has so much in store for me. I am not ready yet. I know it and He knows it.
My personal relationship with Him is untied to any other. My faith in him is not contingent on my blessings. It doesn't work that way. Faith and then blessings. He is teaching me this now. That to truly be close to Him as my father I have to let go and trust. I am just so scared in the end I will have let go of control and no blessings will follow. I will be left with nothing. Empty hands and a broken heart. But just as our marriage is enough for my husband, my obedience and faith is enough for God. I have to let it be enough for me too.
Thank you for letting me share. For letting me share a piece of myself without judgement.
I really am thankful.
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